February 2010
47 posts
January 2010
21 posts
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DMX vs The XX - “XX Gon’ Give it to...
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Dialogue 3 - Freedom Toast!
Freedom Toast! Freedom Toast!
Why’s it called Freedom Toast, Pa?
Well, son, without the French helping our country in the Revolutionary War, we wouldn’t have freedom! I wouldn’t have the Freedom to call this Freedom Toast. I’d have to called it Evil Toast or Bourgeois Toast.
Why?
Why, we would be Colonial Brits. And the French: our sworn enemies.
Why?
Their accents...
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Dialogue 2. Gaga on the Line
Dispatch: Thank you. This is 911. What is your emergency?
Caller: Yeah- uh. Wait, did you just say “Thank you for calling?”
D: No. I said “Thank you.” Why are you dissecting what I am saying? Are you in need of assistance?
C: I really don’t think you should treat customers like this. I asked you a direc-
D: SIR! What is your emergency? I need to be able to assist...
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Somtimes
…I sit in coffee shops and pontificate to persons of no real importance.
Virtually.
Usually.
Usually sipping on a cappuccino with a shot of mocha.
No, this isn’t a f*cking poem.
You’re a moron if you thought so.
I use a netbook for my surfing/writing and get odd looks since my computer is unusually smaller than most others’.
Questions are asked by the MacBook...
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“I have to return some videotapes.”
– Patrick Bateman
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WatchThis is probably my new favorite song.
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Itsnotambiguous. I swear.
The hum of the steady traffic coursing itself through the city streets lingered in the air of the studio loft with a soothing static quality. The loft was composed almost entirely of concrete save for the portion of brick wall that peeked from behind kitchen cabinets and counter tops, begging to be appreciated as character. The concrete seemed to allow the din from the outside world to echo just...
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A Dialogue #1*
[Interior: bathroom. amber lighting above mirror. girls passing through background]
what are you doing?
mm c’gginngh. sch sch sch sch sch-
what?
*points to swishing mouth
Oh! I didn’t know you brought mouthwash to this. Smart thinking, Bee.
mm hhh’hu sch sch schsch…sch sch-
Freshening up your breath for that cute Jewish guy, no doubt. What’s his name? David,...
An Open Letter to Starbucks.
Dear Starbucks,
We all know that you already rob us of our mo’ monies in exchange for mocha problems. However, I would like to tell you that I think you should add wine to your selection, but at a cheaper price which is clearly offset by your gouging of ground prices. I know you’re losing your hipster following due to globalization practices and skyrocketing prices. Even if they have...