Vodka and Cats

Wat?

• Girls: So what do you do?
• Me: I'm a consultant.
• Girls: Neat! Here, in Austin?
• Me: Yeah. I-
• Girls: What did you have to do for that? Like schoolwise?
• Me: Info systems. I was a programmer. Got laid off. Bummed around for a year. Ended up in LA and then moved here.
• Girls: Oh, wow. Cool! What are you doing for New Years.
• Me: Probably seeing a metal show.
• Girls: Oh my god, who-where?!
• Me: Russian Circles at Red 7's.
• Girls: I know the place. Don't know the band thought. You guys want to go with us to a concert tomorrow!?
• Me: Uhhh. Maybe?
• Girls: Well Terra stops work at the pharmacy at 7 and I'm done at mine around 6. We're seeing Better Than Ezra! You should come. Here are our numbers.
• Me: ....*thinking* "What the hell is happening. What did I do?" Uh, sure? I might have to work, or you know, get drunk.
• Girls: I love the way you think!!! You should come meet us tomorrow!
• ============================================
• Whaaaaaaaaaat the hell happened tonight? I'm crushin bad on another lady though. I'll probably play Skyrim instead.

Bitter or Taken?

• Roger: So, you're engaged?
• Phil: Yeah, man. Taking the plunge!
• Roger: That's great! Congratulations.
• Phil: Thanks!
• Roger: So what about Matt? I saw him here with some arm candy? He didn't hire her did he?
• Phil: <laughing> No no. That's his wife!
• Roger: What? < noticeably discouraged >
• Phil: Yup. Yeah, Matt fell hard for this reporter that did a bit on his robots that Ford bought for their factories.
• Roger: Uh-huh...< blank Jack Nicholson stare from The Shining >
• Phil: So, how about you man? What's the story? You've always got something <winking> going on? Don't hold back! What are you ...dating, looking, playin-
• Roger: No, just bitter.
• Phil: Oh...
• Roger: ...Yep. Well, I see the fat girl that got hot. Good talkin to you, Phil.

That Night, at the Reunion, by the Lake

• Him: So, you're a "missus" now. How's that going?
• Her: Oh, it's pretty good. He's a great guy. Makes me laugh. He's just about the best thing I could ask for.
• Him: But?
• Her: But, what?
• Him: But you could ask for more?
• Her: No...it's not that. I mean, he's everything I want, it's just not what I thought it would be. I know the honeymoon stage is over, but I thought there would still be some sort of madness running through me.
• Him: Was there ever?
• Her: Well, yeah. We had our crazy moments, our fights, our impulsiveness, that jolt you get when you're with someone...but it's like I have to try for that now, you know?
• Him: No. I don't.
• Her: Why are you being like that? I thought you said you were happy for me.
• Him: I am. I am. But I don't know about trying for the jolt. It was never about trying for me. It either was there or it wasn't. You just can't force it or hope that it shows up one day.
• Her: So <pause> was it-was it there for us?
• Him: Always.
• Her: Always?
• Him: Always. Never a doubt. Never a second guess. You were always in my bones.
• Her: Don't...
• Him: I'm just telling you the truth. You asked and I answered. I'm not being romantic or jealous. I'm being honest.
• Her: It doesn't help.
• Him: Then what are you doing?
• Her: Why did you stop fighting?
• Him: That's not an answer. Don't change the subject.
• Her: Please!
• Him: Why? Because if I kept fighting, chances are I'd lose my sanity. What was the point in fighting for someone that couldn't see what they had in front of them?
• Her: I was scared! It's not like I meant to hurt you!
• Him: But you did. You meant to cut things off. You were scared and you didn't want to face the reality of the situation, so you ran away to another city, got a new job, new friends, new distractions and you didn't bother to confront the fact that you left pieces of yourself behind. And now you have a new life with a new boy and a new name! And you don't know where you are because you left pieces of yourself in a box I threw out a year later when I realized you weren't coming back! I can't go back there. I picked up my shit and moved on! Don't bring me your marriage's dirty laundry just because your husband can't figure out how to work your washing machine's dials, or yours for that matter!
• Her: Why are you being like this!?
• Him: Because when you fight for someone, you only end up fighting with yourself... and I don't need a rematch. I sincerely hope you're happy, but I can't do this right now.

Rollin' with My Homies

• Tom: You ready to roll with us?
• Roger: Yes.
• Tom: Are you sure you're ready to roll?
• Roger: Yes!
• Tom: Okay, because last time you said that you only brought a six sided die. The rules clearly state-
• Roger: I NEED MORE DICE. I KNOW HOW TO PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, TOM!