Vodka and Cats

The Movie Review

The movie review is meant to be an analysis, a summation of feelings a film leaves you with, and a potential recommendation. No more. No less.

I hate movie reviews that attempt to give a synopsis. Watch the trailer if you’re so curious. Then read someone’s reaction. Don’t waste time on someone giving you a play by play.

Behind

I’m behind on my poetry, people. Sorry!
But I can tell you that I’m putting a dent in this wine bottle…so I’m ahead of some schedule. Right? There was a client that visited my company a few days ago. A few of us went out to dinner with her to talk business things and share life stories. Supposedly, she has two glasses of wine and the night is over.

I don’t get it. They always portray this in movies.
——
FADE IN
Man: You know, we really shouldn’t have so much wine. I need to get you home so you can get up for work in the morning!
Woman: Are you kidding me? I’m only on one glass. I’m just a little buzzed. Besides…and I don’t mean to brag or speak ill of myself - either way - I can handle my drink. I was Greek. I was…kind of a big deal.
Man: Is that so?
ENTER - Second glass of wine
Woman: ‘Eah. Mmmmmgah. You’res’ handsome? I bet ya got good geeeeenes. Donsha?
Man: Uhm…sure-
Woman: I love your hair. That’s a cute smi-OH. MY. GUuuuuuhh. You only have ONE. DIMPLE.
Man: Yup
   <motions to waiter for check>
Woman: I can’t. I can’t. I can’t I can’t. I have-
In Unison: Work tomorrow! 
Man: <laughing> I know right? We should really get going.
Woman: To mah beyad.
Man: Excuse me?
Woman: M’bed. 

——-
Really? You’re wondering, “Who? Who pray tell in movies is like this?” Answer: MEG RYAN. Always. Always!

Anywho. I admitted that it takes a little more than a bottle to get me drunk and I was looked at for being weird or having a problem. I apologize! I like wine! I also happen to be English, German, and Russian. The latter two mixed with some Jew. We like our drink. Leave me alone.
That is, alone with my drink. 
You can have some too…
A sip.

Maybe.